New Shoes: A Tutorial

Hello!

Are you a runner?  Possibly a triathlete?  Do you have feet?

If you answered yes to any, or all, of these questions than I am here to help you.

"Help with what?" you ask!

I'm going to help you with your brand new pair of shoes! 

If you're like me, the excitement of new shoes is an event in itself.  All the research.  Getting them ordered, if not from a local specialty running store.  Having them come in as a birthday present.  Trying them out.  Going to see a physical therapist.  Having them tell you that the shoes you ordered are not good for you.  Moping.  Selling said shoes.  More moping...

ANYWAY

You ordered shoes and that magical day has come.  So what do you do?

1. Stare out your window, waiting for the delivery person to come.  (Possibly freak out a neighbor or a passer by)

2. This next step is of the HIGHEST importance.  Thank the person delivering your shoes!  They've had a hard days work and they are delivering your new toys.  You attract more bees with honey!

3-A. Grab a pair of scissors, or box cutters.  (This step is optional, but if you don't bring them you risk pulling a muscle trying to rip the steel grade packaging tape on the outside of the box.  YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO GET INJURED NOW!)

3-B. Don't forget to put the scissors or box cutters back in a timely manner or else your toddler may try to take them!!



You don't want your toddler getting hurt!  Look at that kid!!!

 4. Look at the box of shoes.  Soak it in!
5. Take them out of the box.  Smell them.  This will be the last time they will smell this magical.  (WARNING: Smell them after your runs at your own risk!)

6. Smell them again.  Hey, why not?

7. Wear them while you do menial household tasks.  For example, cook dinner in them!

*Dramatization*

8. Take a picture of them and share it on social media! 

Bow chicka wow wow... #trichat #newkicks instagr.am/p/VpyyiMqt1C/
— Thomas Costello (@Runnin4h2o) February 13, 2013

  9. Run in them.  Feel them out.  Repeat social media step above.  

Bow chicka wow wow... #trichat #newkicks instagr.am/p/VpyyiMqt1C/
— Thomas Costello (@Runnin4h2o) February 13, 2013

  10. This is the final step, and goes along with every step.  It's an important one too.  Thank God for having you in a place where these luxuries are readily available to us.  Use your new shoes as a means to help people and do good.  Ask a friend to run with you.  Raise money for a charity.    I hope this was informative for you!  Thank you for your time and have a great day!   (I think my exclamation button is broken...)